How am I supposed to live without you?
by Aira Silver
Summary: A brother reflects on the other brother. I placed it at a T, hope that's a good rating for now. It's finished but if you all have an idea for it to go on, I love to know it.
1. Chapter 1

On the request of reviewers here are the warnings. Incest for now, slash for sure. I forgot the disclaimer so here goes. I don't own anything except the plot and the story itself. Supernatural belongs to the WB and whoever else. Thank you.

How am I suppose to live without you? Chapter One

You are my brother but you are also my life. I used to care for her but she is dead and you are alive and here with me. I don't care if it is wrong or not. All I know is that I care for you, I love you more than my life combined with yours. I want to stay with you. I hate when I'm apart. I'm jealous when you flirt with all the girls. I want to be them, to have you pay attention to me like you do to them.

I want to become a female to get your attention. I want to kiss you, to make love to you. To keep you safe, to claim you as my own and no one else's. I don't want you to leave. Stay, never leave. I know now that I can never go on without you beside me. Before I thought I could but it hurt me to leave. I met her and she filled in the need a bit but it wasn't until I saw you again that I realized. I realized that my thoughts, my feelings, my everything were with you. Had always been with you. How I ever thought any different I never will know.

I just want you to live with me. So I don't have to find out how I'm suppose to live without you.


	2. Chapter 2

See Chapter One. Slash and incest again.

How am I suppose to live without you? Chapter Two

I want to stay with you. But I don't want to be your brother. I want to be your lover. The one who picks you up when you fall down. The one who stays be your side. But it's hard to be that when you don't trust me. Enough to tell you the truth, to show you how I feel.

I wish to be your best friend, not your brother. I wish to prove how much I feel for you. I want to prove to everyone that I am yours. That I will protect you and no matter what no one will take you away from me.

I will prove that to them. To everyone. I will protect you, never let you go. Never let anyone hurt you. Ever again.


	3. Chapter 3

See chapter one for disclaimer. Slash again but not incest.

How am I suppose to live without you? Chapter Three

Dad sent us to Lawrence again. But this time it was for something else. My birth and adoption papers. God I can't believe it. We aren't brothers which means I can finally tell you how I feel without the thought of incest on my mind. I'm still scared though. How can I tell you? How will you react when I tell you? Will you run away or will you stay and tell me you love me? I hope the last part. I want the last part. So much. God I want to tell you Dean. I want to kiss you.

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I love you Sam. I'm so glad you aren't my brother so we won't commit incest. You're just staring at me with a look on your face I can't read. I want to read it, to believe you feel as I do. But I don't want to get hurt, to face the harsh reality that you don't feel this way toward me.

The lawyer left us alone. Doesn't he know what's going to happen? I think he does which is why he winked at me before leaving. I get up and move toward you. You look at me scared. I lean down and kiss you. When I'm about to pull away you start to kiss back. God! You taste so good. I love you Sam. I love you so much.



It's been two months since I found out the truth. I loved these two months. Dean is so caring, so open. He doesn't care who finds out about us. He just lets it show. These guys where hitting on me and he came out of nowhere and pulled me to him. I can take care of myself but I let him tell the two guys to leave me alone. To go away. We got into a fight but when we left, the guys were on the floor and we were even richer than earlier that night.

Stupid idiots friends had decided to bet on them against us. So Sam said that if we won we got the money. If they won they got Sam. I got pissed at that as Sam knew I would and practically took them down myself. No one tries to take Sam from me, no one. God, Death, and every demon, werewolf, etc can go to hell before I let him go. I won't let him get hurt. I won't, I swear on my life.


End file.
